Chilli Caliente

For the last two days I haven't been doing much here in Christchurch, I have been hiding myself in my room, trying to figure out what to do as the days go by, all I can think of is what I am doing? Things like this are really not constructive so the best way for me to get myself entertained is by booking airlines ticket, it does help a lot because it makes me plan and it gives me a sense of accomplishment and it keeps me from thinking too much. It helps me see the future more clearly. As I do that I kind of realize that I have so many things to do, but sometimes it is hard to see that, not after you have woken up from this nasty nightmare of guilt and doubts that you realize what you have been through. Live was never meant to be easy. Those who lived long will tell you their successful story, but whatever they did back then might not work again, their formula of ever happiness might not necessarily be the same as yours. As I struggle to find the right ingredients for my happiness, all I will be testing right now is a lot of hot chillies; I need those to heat up my passion, my passion of life. The flame of my will is not as strong as it was awhile ago. I need to get that back and get back on track.