Saudade

Sometimes you think you know a lot until you have actually crossed the lines, that means you know nothing, how can you crossed the line and claim you know it all, when you actually know nothing about whether you have gone too far, there is a limit in life and balance, and if you can balance it you will end you in the wrong side of the fence. I tried to balance my life in Australia but i ended up falling, falling for the forbidden fruit, how could i be that careless and how could i be that stupid, none will ever know but my need for some kind of human affection has made me blind for not be able to see that the forbidden fruit always looks good to the eyes but not to the soul. I feel gutted and this confusing feeling is ripping me apart, I don't know how I am feeling and I don't know how to handle my mood swings because one moment I am filled with hope and excitment and the next I am filled with anger and disappointment. What have I done wrong I will never find out cause the bridge is already burnt and how can I forgive myself for not analyzing carefully my actions, I am not wiser than a few years ago but dafter than before. I am not a man of patiente but a man of action, doesn't action speak louder than words. One thing I have concluded is taking one step at a time and hopefully one day I can look back and not regret the unregretable mistake that I have done today.